chemister

It has been a while, I know and I don't care. But this time, just to kill some minutes, since I don't feel like sleeping yet even though a lot of my energy (and money) have been wasted at Lodi this afternoon. Damn outlet, it's just irresistible. Anyhow, I've been thinking a lot lately, mostly about the future. A whole lot of things running across my mind especially getting jobs and stuff that I don't wanna mention here. Inappropriate, I guess. Naah, it's appropriate but I don't want to. Or maybe because of me. Huh, sometimes I just hate myself for not being able to tell what's on my mind. I'll feel insecure for telling something about myself to anybody else. Plus, I barely trust anybody I know. Sorry folks. I know some of you guys hate me too. Or should I say most? Do I care? Yes. But, there something in me whispering, DON'T CARE. Sometimes, I don't even trust myself. I hate to tell that, but yeah it's true. But I don't let that feeling linger long enough, I'll fight. To fight, I need to remind myself of what I hated, something sad, something pathetic, something painful that ever happened to me. Then, I become strong. I don't wanna lose. I don't want to be sad no more. Enough. Still, I'm not telling what's on my mind now. I'm incapable of doing that. I hate that. And that's ME. And YOU, thanks for wasting your time reading this stupid blog of mine. Am I crazy? Haha, no dude. This is just a blog.